


the morning after

by Sol1t41r3



Category: The Walking Dead (Telltale Video Game)
Genre: Everyone Needs A Hug, F/F, aftermath of the boat explosion, ever write 8k words in one day?, i just need this for my poor heart, let me be, minnie is surprisingly CHILL
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-03
Updated: 2019-03-11
Packaged: 2019-11-08 09:53:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 14,055
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17979134
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sol1t41r3/pseuds/Sol1t41r3
Summary: the rescue mission didnt turn out quite as planned but at least theyre all somewhat okay, everyone's safe.except clementine and james.those two are nowhere to be founda.k.a. a small coping mechanism for me before episode four is released.





	1. feels like drowning

**Author's Note:**

> quite ooc, this is the first time ive written in a while and... watching twd has given me some feelings.

Clementine doesn't remember much after the explosion. She's pretty sure she was knocked out cold after slamming against that metal wall. Then again, she can't trust herself. The boat was torn apart from the force of the bomb. She just hoped the others were safe and... AJ. God, AJ. She hoped that he and Tenn were safe and sound.  
  
James... He... Shit. Clementine couldn't bring herself to think about the boy. Lilly had stabbed him when his back was turned. She was so stupid; how couldn't she have noticed? She was just so focused on AJ. All of them were.  
  
It all happened so fast. After the explosion, she woke up on a small piece of what remained of the boat. It was morning which definitely wasn't good since the rescue mission was definitely during the night.  
  
Her body ached all over. A big piece of shrapnel was stuck in her side, which she painfully realized when she tried to swim to shore. Clementine looked at the water and saw that it was almost red with her blood.  
  
Shit. Shit. Shit.

She lays there, zoning out. Clem had seen her own blood before, no doubt about that. But the river was absolutely stained. The sight of it drained her.

But she can’t dwell on that. She snaps back to reality.

Where was everyone?

“AJ!” She shouts, “AJ!” Her voice is hoarse, “Tenn!”

No one answers.

Only the quiet gurgling of the river did and it terrified her.

They—they made it to safety. She decided, maybe they were back at the school. Safe and sound.  
  
She had to move fast despite her state, she had to get back to the school. If she didn’t, she’d most likely bleed out. With the will to survive, Clem tried her best to wade through the water with her arms, still afloat on the piece of boat.  
  
Thankfully, she reached the shore and struggled to pull herself to land. Groaning in pain as fresh wounds dragged over pebbles and coarse dirt. The stab wound in her hip from Lilly. A bullet hole in her shoulder. A jarring pain in her chest. Of course, the piece of shrapnel in her side.  
  
It was a shitty start to her morning-after, no doubt. Clem laid on her back, panting from the effort. She was dripping wet and bleeding from everywhere. She was sure she had a few broken bones too, but she had to keep going. For AJ. Violet... Everyone who was still alive, hopefully they suffered no casualties.  
  
Yet she couldn't make her limbs move, her muscles were on fire from the nonstop action last night.  
  
Fuck! Clem growled in determination, forcing herself to sit up at least to see the wreckage they had made. Fiery chunks of boat followed the current. The... Occasional dead body... Human and walker. She didn't recognize any of the bodies, thank God.  
  
At least she could lay down, realizing the high chance that AJ, Violet and everyone else were safe.  
  
But she couldn't just lay there and die. She’s made it this far; a few wounds weren’t going to stop her.

It’s just… she was tired. So tired. Tired enough to feel the strength draining out of her.  
  
_Keep on going, sweet pea_. A familiar voice said from all around her.  
  
Oh God, Lee.  
  
_Come on, Clem_. He says softly. _What about AJ?_  
  
AJ.  
  
_I'm sorry, Lee_ , she thinks, closing her eyes, _I'm... Just a bit tired is all..._  
  
Darkness filled her vision faster than she'd like to admit. She felt so cold and tired.  
  
All she could think about was sleep.

 

 

The setting sun, the blurry scenery that whooshed by as the train carried them away.  
  
It was all comforting. Despite metal on metal screeching and the boisterous engine, she still heard his footsteps.  
  
"Clementine."  
  
She looked up. Beside her was a familiar, heart-wrenching sight.  
  
"Lee." Clem said in her timid voice, she could feel the cool air on her skin.  
  
"How are you holding up, sweet pea?" He asks, a gentle smile on his lips. His kind eyes, his familiar presence. It overwhelmed her more than it probably should have.  
  
She couldn't lie. "I—I don't know." She admitted, having no idea whatsoever what events were currently unfolding. But there was a question that lingered on her mind.  
  
"Am I... Am I dead?" Clementine asks, afraid to look up to her father figure.  
  
She feels him frown, "You're strong, aren't you, sweet pea?"  
  
"Yes." She says with a tone of determination.  
  
"I believe that you'll get through this." Lee says, placing a large hand on her small, eight-year old back. How she missed those days.  
  
The days of innocence and bonding with Lee. When the world didn't seem as fucked up as it did now. She could never forget.  
  
"Do you..." Clementine trails off, "Do you think AJ's safe?" She knew he was safe but... She just needed a reaffirmation to comfort her turbulent thoughts.  
  
"Well, judging from all the things you've told me," Lee begins, "I've no doubt he's safe and sound. A bit scratched up but safe.  
  
That brings a smile to her face.  
  
Almost painfully, the train horn blows. The sound makes her wince. Time's almost up, then she would have to leave him again.  
  
"Oh sweet pea, you know I'm always with you." Lee says softly, standing up. She watches him carefully as he walks to the center of the wagon, seemingly waiting for her.  
  
Clementine stands up. Lee holds his arms out and she gladly runs to him and wraps her tiny arms around him as best she can.  
  
Hugging him felt like heaven. He felt warm and comforting. A nostalgia that she hadn't felt in a long time. The reassurance that everything was going to be okay. The selfish part of her never wanted to let go but the reasonable part said that she had to go back. Back to everyone.  
  
She steps back and suddenly she's grown to her sixteen-year old self. Lee _grins._  
  
"Look at you." He cups her face and she smiles.  
  
"God, look at you, Clem." He repeats, unbelieving. "All grown up."  
  
"I'm only still sixteen." She jokes, pressing her hand to Lee's.  
  
"Still small enough to be called sweet pea?" Lee smiles teasingly.  
  
"Always." She chokes out, feeling a lump of emotions in her chest swell.  
  
"Glad to know." The man she's always known as a father says warmly. He leans down to press his lips to her forehead, slightly tilting her hat up.  
  
They stand there, the train horn blows again. Lee gives her an expectant look. Clementine looks down, her hands curling into fists.  
  
"I miss you so much, Lee."  
  
"Me too, Clem."  
  
He kneels down, eye-level with her.  
  
"Be strong, alright, sweet pea? I know you'll make it through this."  
  
She smiles.


	2. a roller coaster ride of emotions

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry clem i still love u

The wreckage was beautifully horrifying, Violet decided. The minute she and Minnie had gotten off the boat, it exploded. With Tenn, Clem, AJ and James still on it. Everyone else was safe and on shore with her. They had taken cover in the forest.

“Tenn!” Minnie screamed beside her, clutching at Violet’s arm. The redhead’s voice was hoarse and heartbroken at the possibility of her brother dead.

Violet couldn’t bring herself to speak. Tenn—Tenn couldn’t be dead. He shouldn’t be, the boy was strong, she knew. AJ was capable of defending himself and the others. James… she barely knew the guy but he didn’t deserve to die for a ragtag team of people he didn’t even know. And Clem… the thought shook her down to her foundations. Clementine couldn’t be dead. She—she was Clementine. The brave, tough and badass girl Violet had learned to like over the past few weeks. She could get them out of everything! They all had to be safe.

No one spoke as the boat, torn apart and on fire swam down the river.

“We have to—we have to find them!” Louis speaks up, “They’re still alive! I can feel it.”

Violet couldn’t bring herself to speak. She only felt the weight of her ex-girlfriend leaning on her. She only felt the weight of Tenn, Clem, AJ and James.

“Tenn?” Minnie whispers, gazing to the right. Violet perks up and follows the girl’s gaze. Minerva wasn’t mistaken. There were two small bodies walking up to shore, limping slowly.

“It’s Tenn and AJ!” Ruby gasps, running towards the boys. Violet moves to follow and Minnie unsurprisingly starts to walk. The whole group flocks to the two boys. AJ and Tenn. She sighs in relief as Tenn rushes to Minnie, hugging her.

AJ only stands there, looking around in confusion. Louis approaches the silent boy.

“Where’s Clem?” He sputters, turning towards the river. “She’s not here!” Violet winces, frowning. Even he didn’t know where his guardian was and that wasn’t good. It was always never good.

“AJ—” Louis begins but the boy breaks into a sprint towards the bank. They burst into yells as Louis chases after him. Thankfully he catches up to AJ, holding him back. Violet watches as the small boy tries to wriggle out of the older boy’s grip, punching him and kicking like a rabid animal.

“Clem! Clementine! Clementine!” His panicked shouts stab at her heart like a million knives.

Louis talks in hushed whispers, trying to calm the boy as best he could. Only proving to be useless as AJ breaks down, crying. Violet looks away, following the path of the river off into the distance.

_Where are you, Clementine?_

“We—we should look for her.” Violet finds herself talking. Her words sound so alien to her.

“Vi, are you crazy? We should go back to the school.” Minnie shakes beside her, still embracing Tenn. “We should make sure everyone’s okay.”

Violet looks around, seeing the tired and gaunt faces of her family. But it didn’t feel complete without Clementine. It felt like a black hole had swallowed her.

“Clementine’s out there somewhere and we need to help her. Find her.” Violet argues. Surprisingly, a few of her friends mutter in agreement.

“She’s right.” Aasim says.

“She saved us.” Omar nods, “Saved me.” His hand trails down to his cloth-covered bullet wound.

Willy steps forward to say something but Minnie lashes out.

“Don’t you guys get it? We need to put ourselves first! If she is out there, she’d want us to care for ourselves first!” She almost yells, Violet doesn’t know why she’s acting like this. Clementine had arranged all of this to save what remained of them. The only way they could repay was saving her too, regardless of whatever situation she was in.

Ruby sighs. She looks to her hopefully but the country girl only nods her head. “Minnie’s right. We need to tend to our wounded. You’re in pretty bad shape yourself, Violet. Omar still has a wound that needs healing.”

Violet shakes her head in denial but Ruby locks eyes with her, “Clementine is strong. She can take care of herself. We’ll see her again, no doubt about it.”

None of them could argue. Violet was indeed too tired. But she felt like walking away was betraying Clem’s trust in her to watch her back. She couldn’t take it if it was her fault that the girl with a baseball cap died because she had made the decision to go back to the school.

Everyone looked at her, even Louis who was carrying AJ. The boy was deathly silent, Violet didn’t like it. She realized that they all still looked up to her like she was the leader, and the truth of it all was that she still is. Clementine had only been helping her but Violet felt that Clem was the one running the school. Everyone did.

“Let’s…” She closes her eyes painfully, not believing that she would decide this. “Let’s go back.”

Violet looks back to the river. _I’m so sorry, Clem._

They walked back to the school, like a frightened dog with its tail between its legs. Not knowing whether they had won and lost this day.

 

 

Violet couldn’t sleep. Not when Clementine was still out there, James too.

Losing Clem would surely break her. If Minnie’s past disappearance was enough to put her in a depressive state for months, what about Clementine’s? The girl who had taught her to love again and bring down her walls. The one who helped her bring the school back together and fight against the Delta?

It wasn’t fair to Clementine that they were back here in the school while she was out there hurting, possibly dying.

She couldn’t imagine a life where she wouldn’t be able to see the younger girl’s genuine smiles, her soft amber eyes when she let her guard down, even for a second. God, even that damn baseball cap that was tearing apart at the seams.

When she imagined Clementine while Minnie was glued to her, sleeping soundly, it felt like Minerva’s grip was hot lava. Violet cuddling with the girl she had gotten over seemed so pervertedly wrong. She thought it would be easy, casual cuddling with Minerva but it was harder than expected. Violet had broken out into a sweat.

She just couldn’t wait for morning, then she could go looking for Clementine. She is still alive, Violet is sure of it.

 

 

Violet went out first, with Ruby and Aasim. She couldn’t look at Minnie in the eye when the girl had woken up and hugged her. Louis was busy with AJ, who she was extremely worried about. She didn’t see the boy at all last night. She could only imagine how much torment he was going through. It was nothing compared to the first day the pair had stayed here, with Clementine unconscious and bandaged up, AJ was worried sick.

Now they didn’t even know if she was still alive. AJ was unsure of how to deal with the thought. Violet felt pity. She couldn’t imagine to live her life without Clem, how about AJ? How about him who has never known life without Clementine?

How would he take it?

God, Violet hoped the girl was safe.

“I’m sure she’s fine.” Ruby speaks up as they travel to the river, the mood didn’t lighten at all but Violet appreciated that she tried. Aasim doesn’t say anything as they stare at what remained of the temporary Delta pier. They really had done a number on this place.

They walked through piles of walkers, charred ground and dead horses. Following the river downstream, they came to a grounded part of the ship, the deck, along with a couple of crates.

“Think those things still have supplies in them?” Aasim asks quietly. Violet purses her lips, looking over the boxes.

“Clementine first.” She says firmly and continues on. The pair follow wordlessly. They didn’t dare shout since it would be stupid. Clem wouldn’t want them to act stupid.

Suddenly, a gunshot rings through the forest, coming from just ahead. Violet instantly crouches, her eyes widening.

“Clem?” Ruby looks at her, Violet meets the girl’s eyes with worry.

“Who else? No one else would survive that explosion.”

They made their way hurried over through the forest, staying away from the shoreline. It was too open. As much as she wanted to believe her previous words, there was a haunting thought that if the explosion didn’t kill Clementine, then there was a chance that…

“Lilly.” Aasim whimpers as they come over the scene. The sight of the deranged woman made her blood boil and prepare for the worst.

“Do it, Clementine!” Lilly suddenly howls, “Shoot me.”

Violet realizes that the woman was leaning against a tree, staring down at a Clementine who looked like shit. In the younger girl’s hand was a pistol. Clem trembled.

She didn’t whether to feel relieved or worried.

“I know you can’t do it.” Lilly goads, “Just like me, right?”

Clementine stayed silent. Violet couldn’t bring herself to snap out of her frozen state as she watched the intense scene.

To her horror, Clementine cocks the gun. Would she shoot? It’s not like she didn’t want Lilly to die but, Clem acting like this went against all her beliefs. Apparently, Lilly realized this too.

“You wouldn’t.” Lilly says, her arrogance instantly melting off her features, being replaced by fear.

Clem’s face was unreadable. How they’d gotten in this situation, Violet had no idea. But… Clementine wouldn’t shoot, would she? The Clem she knew acted out of reason, she always wanted justice, but not revenge.

“Clem—” Those were Lilly’s last words before having her head blown off. Swift and precise. Yet Clem didn’t put down the gun. Violet stood up to run to her but she cowered as the gun let out two more gunshots.

Ruby and Aasim watched in quiet horror.

 

Holy shit.

 

Clementine collapses, the gun dropping to the ground with a _thud._

Violet acts quickly, sprinting over to the girl, ignoring Lilly’s thrice-shot body behind her.

“God, Clem? Clementine?”

The brunette remained motionless under her touch. Her blood ran cold when she realized her clothes were absolutely stained with blood. Clementine’s blood. There was a big wound in her side, a bullet hole in her shoulder, a torn hole in her hip. Violet resisted the urge to look away. She couldn’t take this, she couldn’t take how battered and shitty Clem looked.

Her cap was gone too.

“Help me!” She snaps at Ruby and Aasim who rush over. Together, they carry the surprisingly light girl. Violet makes the mistake of looking at Lilly.

Head was a mass of guts and blood. Two more bullet holes in her chest.

Violet looked away.

They carried Clem to the school as fast their legs allowed it. The girl was losing blood fast, Violet knew from her bloodstained clothes and arms.

Willy was thankfully on watch; the boy immediately opened the gates and they rushed into the admin building. They ran past Minnie and Tenn who were conversing quietly on the tables. Violet ignored the girl who asked what was going on.

“Lay her here slowly!” Ruby commanded. She and Aasim worked together to lay Clem on the worn couch. Violet looked at Aasim who looked terrified at how much blood stained him.

“I need bandages! Quick! Now!” Ruby snapped at Aasim who nodded.

“Put pressure here.” Violet immediately pressed her hands against Clem’s side. The unconscious girl was still thankfully warm.

“Minnie!” Ruby shouts, she hears footsteps. “Okay, I—I need you to get some clean cloth and alcohol.” The redhead stammers, panic catching up to her. Violet listens as presumably Minnie’s footsteps trample down the stairs.

Violet looks helplessly at Ruby as the medic worked. “Gosh, Clem. This is—God.” The redhead muttered as she struggled to take off the unconscious girl’s jacket. Violet got a good look at how fucked up Clementine was.

She was… She was practically bleeding from all over.

“Her pulse is weak.” Ruby tells her as she presses two fingers to her neck. “Burning up. Poor girl.”

Violet swallowed as her eyes ran over Clementine’s still body. Scars marred her skin, a poorly sewn long-healed bite on her arm. She remembered Clem telling her about it. It was a dog bite, and one she had to sew close herself.

Soon, Aasim and Minnie came running back to them. Ruby went to work as Violet stood back. Minnie tried to wrap an arm around her waist but Violet steps away, shaking her head. Minerva only gives her a raised eyebrow as she leaves the scene.

AJ... What was she going to tell AJ?

Clementine is still alive and kicking but would she want to get his hopes up?

Violet scolded herself as she went down the stairs. She had to tell AJ. She owed it to him. It would be wrong not to tell the boy.

As she reaches the bottom step, she hears the piano. Somber, out-of-tune keys filled her ears. Violet walks stiffly towards the music room. Once she gets there, AJ instantly notices her. Louis too.

“Violet? Holy crap, are you okay?” The older teen says, running to her. She stifles a strangled laugh.

She shakes her head, “Not my blood.”

“Did you—?!” AJ says, his dull eyes widening. “Clementine?!” He shouts, running out of the room. She watches as the boy disappears from sight. Louis purses his lips.

“You found her?”

“Yeah,” She lets out a shaky breath, “She’s in pretty bad shape, Louis. We don’t know if she’ll—”

“She’ll make it.” Louis says firmly, “Hey, this is badass Clementine you’re talking about!”

Violet looks at the floor, she’s had enough. She’s closed herself off for long enough.

“Hey, Vi—” Louis says worriedly, stepping forward. Violet moves in to hug him, pressing her face against his chest.

“H—hey.” He repeats, muttering, “It’ll be okay.” The teen says comfortingly, hugging her back. Hot tears rolled down her cheeks. It all weighed on her chest. Clementine, Minnie, AJ. She felt so helpless, and she hated it. She hated it so much.

Louis doesn’t say anything else.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> shes alive!! well, sort of


	3. still not dead

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the amount of kudos on this for only like a day is mind boggling, ty guys,,,,

“I killed Lilly.” Clementine looks at her hands. She didn’t wake up as her eight-year-old self.

Lee observes her, his tone as gentle as always. “Sweet pea… We all make mistakes.”

“I’m a murderer, aren’t I? Like when I shot that stranger.” She looked up at him helplessly. Lee’s eyes are wide open when they meet hers.

“Clem—”

“I shot her _three_ times.” She says miserably.

“It was… It’s not your fault. We all act out of instinct.” Lee reasons, laying a hand on her shoulder.

“Three times?” Clem says disbelievingly. “I had her at gunpoint, I could have—I could have just kept her there.”

“Lilly is… I don’t know. It’s been a long time.” Lee admits, “She’s done some very wrong things.”

Clementine stayed silent, listening to her father figure. She craved for his presence, his support, his wisdom. The walls she’s been building have been so damaged, and she had no idea what could happen anymore.

“I wouldn’t have killed her. But I don’t know about leaving her alive either.” She perks up, staring at the man with wide eyes.

“But—”

“It’s a tough world, sweet pea. We evolve to be very different people.” Lee says, leaning towards her, “It’s been eight years.”

She looks away sharply, “Eight.” She chokes out, feeling her emotions swell at the realization.

“And you’ve been surviving as best you can.”

“I have.”

“With the boy, no less.” He says proudly, “We all make difficult decisions, Clem. We’re not all perfect, and I’m so proud of you for trying everything you can to make sure everyone’s safe.”

“Well, I take on a certain someone.”

Lee smiles, “Sometimes it’s best to let our emotions show. You can’t keep hiding them inside, sweet pea.”

“I know.”

“What about that girl?” _Violet,_ her mind automatically says.

Clementine bites her lip at the thought of the blonde. She wondered if she was safe, if she was at the school. If she was thinking about her.

“What about her?” Clem asks defensively.

“I couldn’t give a damn about the way you swing, Clem.” The man laughs, “But she’s nice.”

“She is.”

“You care about her a lot, don’t you?” She doesn’t feel like responding, her stomach felt like it was being invaded by butterflies.

A chuckle, “You should tell her.”

“She’d think I’m a monster.”

“If she does feel the same way you do about her, I don’t think she will.”

Her stomach twists.

“She’ll understand.” His voice was soothing, supportive.

The train horn howls horribly, like the sound of wolves closing in on her.

Clementine feels so sluggish, so hot. Do wounds carry on into dreams? She doubted it, but with how fucked up she currently was, she wouldn’t be surprised.

She looks at Lee, seeing his dark ebony eyes that reflected her own, frightened amber orbs. The slight wrinkles on his forehead, the thin beard that she found oddly comforting. It made him look friendlier in her eyes.

His slightly dark skin that was so _so_ pale when she last saw him. When she shot him.

“Did it hurt?”

“Did what hurt, sweet pea?” Lee cranes his neck, giving her a raised eyebrow. With his wrist turned up, she could see the scar of his bite. She averts her gaze.

“When I—” Clementine stops herself, closing her eyes and knitting her eyebrows together. Knowing he was only her imagination, he would only say what she wanted him to say.

Lee hums, “I felt… Free. As long as I didn’t turn into one of them. I wouldn’t ever want to hurt you, even when I’m gone. Sure, a bullet in the head isn’t the best way to go, but it gave me comfort knowing I wouldn’t be a threat to you, knowing that I wouldn’t be a part of the herd.”

Clementine feels her chest tighten as she listened to the man’s soft, bitter words.

“Pick something other than the train next time, alright?” Lee lets out a laugh, laying a hand on the small of her back, “It makes me feel emotional, sweet pea.”

Clem smiles, blinking her tears away. “I’ll try to think of something else.”

 

 

Her eyes eventually crack open for the first time in a long time. She can barely make out anything except from the fact that she was in her and AJ's room. God, every part of her hurt. Her head throbbed from the pain. Thankfully it was dark, nighttime.  
  
Clementine laid there for a few minutes, gradually getting her eyes fully opened. She blinks a few times, adjusting.   
  
Stupidly, she tries sitting up but it only proves useless when her side instantly betrays her, she groans, using her arms for support against the bed. She had to get up.  
  
But... Maybe moving wasn't the best thing to do right now. Her head felt like a jug of water, swishing and swashing from all the tiny movements she made. Even inhaling and exhaling made her head throb.  
  
At least she was sitting up. She took a minute to breath and be thankful that she was back and...  
  
Clementine looks sideways, across from her was AJ's sleeping form. She could almost cry from happiness as the little boy snored quietly. But she swore she could hear another set of snoring.   
  
It pained her to do so but she leaned over the bed and was met with a wonderful surprise when she saw Violet on the floor, sleeping on a makeshift bed made from blankets and pillows.  
  
Clem's heart fluttered as she watched the serene figure of the blonde.  
  
Suddenly, pain jolts through her like electricity and she bites back a moan, not wanting to disturb the two. She lays back down, sighing.  
  
Then she freezes when she hears blankets rustling.  
  
"Cl—Clem?" Came Violet's raspy, hoping voice. She turns her head to the side, meeting forest green eyes.  
  
They stayed there in silence, both two shocked to say anything.  
  
Violet scrambles to kneel beside her bed, hesitantly looking over Clem as if to make sure she was actually awake. The blonde lets out a breath she didn't know she was holding.  
  
"Holy shit."  
  
Clem can't help but smile, meeting the blonde’s eyes.   
  
"You're awake!" Violet whispers, surprised. "I—Let me get Ruby."   
  
"Vi." Clementine says, her throat dry. She feels dizzy.  
  
"Shh... Don't talk." Violet says, her voice soft.  
  
"Just—just rest, Clem."  
  
And she does.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> honESTLY these lee dreams are so therapeutic i cant.... its like talking to a long lost friend and even i get weepy


	4. tying up loose ends

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so, minnie is a sort of complicated character to write. louis too, since im so goddamn depressing all the time.

Holy shit, was all Violet could think. Clementine—Clem was awake.

She immediately stood up after she made sure the girl was back to sleep, she threw off her covers and left the room.

Yeah, she had made it a habit to sleep in their room, first the reason was that AJ wanted someone there and then it became a way of avoiding Minnie. It’s not that she didn’t want to talk to her ex-girlfriend but… It was too complicated right now. Clementine was…

Clementine was someone special to her, she couldn’t put a label on it yet, she couldn’t hope for too much.

She went and called Ruby, they looked over Clem and the redhead had said the best news she’s received in a while.

Clementine was going to be okay.

It didn’t take long for the news to spread, with their so few numbers left. Louis and AJ were delighted, well, everyone was. With the exception of Minnie who only nodded and gave a small smile. Violet could tell that the girl was conflicted, with Violet avoiding her and disliking Clementine.

“You need to talk to her someday, you know.” Louis says, sitting beside her as she drummed her fingers on the table.

Today was a good day, Clementine had enough strength to walk and leave her room, with a few disapproving looks from Ruby. AJ stayed glued to her side, never leaving his protector out of his sight even for one second. Funny, it seems like their roles were reversed.

Of course, the healing girl gave them all heart attacks from time to time. From collapsing to her wounds opening again. But Clem made it through any hurdle that got in her way.

Violet guesses resilience is a perk that comes with living on the road during the apocalypse. Clementine is one of the strongest people she knows and she’s just so glad that she’s right, in the school; safe and sound and in Violet’s sight. AJ handles it pretty well too, the kid’s so damn mature, hell, maybe he’s even more mature than Violet. She knows he had to grow up pretty fast and paired with Clementine’s occasional hard-ass attitude towards him, Violet’s not surprised.

The pair were on the steps of the admin building, enjoying each other’s presence. AJ talked to her from time to time, receiving soft replies from the older girl. Clem just kept her eyes closed, enjoying the rare serenity. Violet loved seeing her at peace, she feels like it’s something Clem hasn’t had for a long time.

Violet knew Louis wasn’t talking about Clementine.

“I—What do I even say?”

“I don’t know, explain the situation? Everyone knows what’s going on between you and Clementine.” Louis says sarcastically. Violet feels her face grow hot as she tears her gaze away from Clem.

Minnie was complicated. Ever since she heard the news about Clementine, she strayed farther and farther away from Violet. Not that Violet did any action to prevent it.

“Vi, you need to talk to Minnie. You know that.” Came Louis’ rare serious voice.

“Wow, who knew you could be such a voice of fucking reason?” Violet deadpans.

“Well, when it comes to my beloved friends, I can be serious for a change.” Louis crosses his arms, “Besides, you know you have to.”

“I know.” She sighs. Her gaze turns to Minnie and Tenn who were talking at another table. Tenn seemed to be telling a story to his sister. Occasionally, Minnie looked over to Clementine. Violet could only assume that Tenn was talking about her.

“And I mean like, talk to her now.”

She sighed even further. Violet wasn’t ready to face her, but Louis was begrudgingly right.

“Unless you want me to sic Clementine on you.” Louis jokes.

“I don’t even know Clem’s opinion on Minnie.”

“But you know that all Clementine wants is peace in this darned school.”

He was now unmistakably right.

Violet stands up, head hanging. Louis grins, clapping. “That’s my girl.”

“Shut up or I’ll punch you.” She hisses.

Reluctantly, she makes her way to Minnie and Tenn’s table. Minerva notices her, features hardening. Tenn smiles at Violet, waving.

“Hey.” She greets the siblings awkwardly.

Minerva flashes her a look like, Not here. The redhead glances at her brother. “Hey bud, you mind cutting the story short for a moment? I just have to…” Minnie glances back to Violet, “Tend to things.”

Tenn gives her a half-smile.

The older sister stands up, Violet’s forgotten how much taller Minnie is than her. It’s kind of intimidating, but she’s sure that the older girl’s changed since she’s come back to the school.

“Is this about Clementine?” Minnie asks, as they walk away from Tenn. Violet catches Louis’ gaze who grins in victory and stands up to approach Clem and AJ. Bastard.

“In a way… Sort of.” Violet mutters quietly, not really knowing what this conversation will really be about.

“I know about it.” Minnie sighs, “I get it, we’ve had a year apart and… Honestly? When I saw you again? I expected to feel something but then… Nothing.”

“Really?” The shorter girl says, eyes wide.

Minnie lets out a laugh, smiling. “Is it so hard to believe?” She pauses, “Well, I guess it is. When Sophie—” She cuts herself off, staring out into the distance, “When Sophie died, I didn’t know what I’d do. Then I thought about Tenn and you.”

Violet stays silent, listening intently to the taller teen. She remembers every single word they shared with each other. It’s a bittersweet memory but after a year, Violet’s found herself forgiving and getting over Minerva.

“You practically kept me kicking, Vi. But I realize that maybe I don’t feel the same towards you anymore.”

“I—Wow.” Violet says awkwardly, looking away.

“Besides, I feel like I’m intruding.” Minnie smiles, “I hated her at first, pinning all the deaths on her but…”

“It’s not her fault.” She finds herself defending Clementine.

“No.” Minnie agrees slowly, “It’s all Marlon’s… That coward.” Violet’s jaws tighten at the name.

 They stay in silence for a bit, Violet’s relieved that the mood had lightened, even just a bit.

“Besides, I was a pretty shitty girlfriend.” Minnie says quietly, eyeing the blonde. “I—I never really supported you, did I? While you supported me in everything I did, I left you alone.”

Violet bites her lip, hoping that the conversation wouldn’t have come to this.

“Honestly, Minnie… It’s the fucking apocalypse.” She says, “We all change and I… I realized that. I can’t judge you on how well your girlfriend skills were. But…” Violet trails off. Minnie raises an eyebrow at her.

“I forgive you.”

“Really?”

“It’s the past.” The blonde says. A year ago, she would never have said anything like that. She’d probably act bitter and hate the redhead but… She’s moved on. She has Clementine with her and she couldn’t ask for anything else.

“You know, I’d like to formally meet Clementine.” Minnie admits, “Since that small encounter with a knife against my neck isn’t such a good first impression.”

“And you stabbed her in the shoulder?” Violet replies sarcastically.

“Then you shot me in the shoulder!” Minnie retaliates, “Ass.” They both laugh, feeling as though the events yesterday were nothing. Everything was thrown to the wind.

“It—it feels good to talk to you again.” Violet says before all her courage leaves her, “I… I forgot what it was like.”

Minerva smiles, “Same here, Vi.” Then she spreads her arms slightly, motioning for a hug.

Violet gladly hugs her, forgetting how comforting her best friend is.

“I’m glad we had this conversation.” The redhead smiles, punching her softly in the shoulder after stepping back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> a.k.a. minnie roots for her fellow lgbt fam


	5. night falls, friendships formed

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> minnie: peace offering  
> clem: criES

Clementine had watched the two girls talk near the brick wall. It was good to see them be so happy with each other, don’t get her wrong. But there was just the small ugly feeling in her gut that spoiled her peaceful afternoon.

At least Louis was making her smile by playing and talking with AJ, poking fun at his lack of knowledge about animals.

“Well, elephants are… They’re really really huge sweethearts with long trunks.” Louis smiles, with AJ listening in awe.

“Bigger than you?” Clementine lets out a chuckle at AJ's incredulous tone.

“Way bigger than me.” Louis nods.

AJ pouts, “I want to go to a z—zoo.” She had taught him the word after he’d seen a flyer for it while they walked through the countryside. Clem felt her heart twist, knowing that he’d never see a majority of the places she’s taught him.

“We could go and find one. Just for you, little guy.” The older teen smiles even wider. “There’s a lot in the cities.” AJ tenses at this, looking at his guardian.

“Clem said never to go into a city. It’s dangerous.” He frowns, “Lots of walkers.”

Louis seems surprised at this, looking at Clementine, but she doesn’t meet his eyes. The last time she’d been in a city, well… It just never ended well.

“Well, there’s also zoos in the countryside. I’m sure we’ll find one.” Louis works his way around the situation, “I’m sure Clem would agree?”

She looks at AJ’s excited gaze, it makes her heart swell, “We’ll find one, eventually. And you’ll get to meet all the animals.” Granted they aren’t dead by now, killed for food by desperate survivors, or starved to death by lack of care. But she doesn’t say that, she can’t.

Clementine looks back to Violet and Minnie just in time to see them hug, she can’t help but clench her fist, feeling like she’s intruding. The ugly feeling at the pit of her stomach grows.

“I’ll just—go back to the dorms, AJ.” She smiles softly at the young boy she’d raised. Louis looks at her with a raised eyebrow but she ignores him.

“I’ll go with you!” AJ says, jumping up to his feet and helping her get up. Clem raises her hand to adjust her cap out of habit but realizes it’s not there.

It hasn’t been there since they found her and it felt like a piece of her was gone forever. That hat—it’s been with her for too long. AJ seems to notice her and tugs at her arm, a look of determination on his face.

“I’ll find it for you, Clem.”

She smiles, “I’m sure you will, goofball.” She tosses a look to Louis who waves.

“I’ll call you guys for dinner.”

They walk back to the dorms, back to their room. Sometimes a wave of realization still hits her every time she enters. They have a place to call home. A home that isn’t fucked up by cruelty and dictatorship like the warehouse. The comparison sends a chill down her spine. Carver… That sick fucked up bastard. He had told her that they were more alike than she realized, she refused to believe that. She wasn’t!

But when she thinks back to Lilly... God, Lilly. She doesn't know what came over her. Clementine... Couldn't control herself. She's just thankful that no one was there to see her. Especially AJ. She looks down at the young boy, holding her hand as if he would never let it go. And truthfully, she thinks that he wouldn't if it was possible.

Clem had killed many people in her past, but she never thought she'd lose herself in killing Lilly. God, three shots. One was enough. The first one was a straight headshot, she didn't have to shoot two more times. Did she... Enjoy it? Did she enjoy killing Lilly like Carver enjoyed torturing his people?

No! She didn't, she definitely did not!

The possibility of it made her sick.

"Clem?" AJ's voice brings her back to reality. She realizes she's been standing in front of the open doorway of their room.

"Sorry, goofball. Spaced out for a bit there." Clem smiles at her boy. She enters the room and closes the door. Clementine sits on her bed, AJ stands in front of her.

"Bandages?" He asks, worry dripping from his voice. She strips her jacket, letting AJ see the white clean cloth. No open wounds. The boy nods and sits beside her. Clem smiles, and pulls him close to her. Her entire midsection and shoulder were bandaged. Courtesy of all her wounds from a week ago.

"Clem?"

"Yeah?"

"Don't leave me, okay?" That takes her by surprise but she smiles sadly, knowing that she would leave him someday, and they both have to be ready for that. But for the meantime, they'll have to cherish each other.

"I—I won't, goofball."

"Good." She wants to hug him and she does. She wraps her arms around AJ and he complies eagerly, pressing his face into her chest.

 

 

True to his word, Louis calls them for dinner. She'd taken her meds and fallen asleep but AJ reluctantly woke her up. She smiled when he apologized and told him it was no problem.

Louis, being Louis, talks her ear off about future plans for the school. He'd talked with Violet (hearing her name gave her a slight bounce in her heavy steps) about cleaning up the school, having a bigger variety of plants in the green house and extending the safe zone. She listens intently, smiling.

"Sounds good." She says, feeling hopeful for the first time in a long time. Clementine had always been afraid for planning for the future, knowing something had to fuck up some time soon. But... She felt good. She was still alive, wasn't she?

Louis smiles, hooking an arm through hers. "Nice to see you in something other than a jacket by the way." He comments, "Feels less emo, you know?"

She wore a long-sleeved shirt for a change.

"Says the guy with a duster!"

"Hey, it's called fashion!"

"Fas-hion?" AJ tugs at her hand.

Clementine ponders on how to explain the word. "It's like... Ah, that's pretty hard to explain. It's like why sometimes we like to dress up in fancy ways, or maybe why we choose to look the way we do. It's fashion."

"So, it's why Louis wears his long jacket?"

"Long jacket? I'm hurt, kid! It's a duster."

"Duster." AJ repeats, "And your hat? It's also why you wear it?"

Clementine frowns, thinking. "More for sentimental value. But sure, it's also for fashion."

"Sentimental?"

"Like, for honoring a memory." AJ forms his lips into an O, nodding.

"Speaking of your infamous hat..." Louis pats her curly hair. The feeling is alien. She's always had her hat.

"Still missing." She sighs, it's the only reminder she has of her parents.

"I promised I'd find it!" AJ says, gripping her hand.

"I know you will, goofball." Clem says fondly. They arrive outside and it certainly looks festive. Everyone was talking and laughing and happy. Even Violet who was sitting with Minnie and Tenn. Louis pulls her over to their table, ignoring Clementine's resistance.

She feels jitters through her body as Violet's eyes meet hers. Minnie meanwhile smiles at her which surprises Clementine. She figures if Minerva's been around for a week without doing any harm, then the redhead was okay. So, she offered a small smile back.

Of course, there was the suspicious voice at the back of her head that told her not to trust Minnie. But even if it pained her to do so, she'll put the distrust aside. It's the best evening they've had in a while.

"So, how's my most favorite people in the world?" Louis grins, setting down his bowl of stew. AJ excitedly sits next to Tenn, beginning to talk in hushed tones. Clem sits across Violet, avoiding the blonde's gaze.

"Nice to see you too, Louis." Minerva smiles, taking a sip of her stew.

"How are you settling in?" Louis asks.

"Just fine." Minerva eyes Clementine, "How are you?" That takes her aback.

"Healing." Clem replies curtly, wondering if she has a reason for asking or if she's actually concerned.

Minnie looks at her, as if expecting that she'd say more but she shrugs it off, smiling, "That's good."

Louis allows the silence for once, surprisingly sensing the discomfort in the atmosphere.  He doesn’t try to make awkward comments. She guesses that everyone had been dampened by her condition. Clementine glances at Violet from time to time, but decides she isn't too ready to talk to her.

AJ on the other hand was enjoying Tenn's presence.

She senses Minerva's eyes on her the whole time she’s eating. Making her shift on the bench a lot. God, she missed her hat. It was almost like a safety net for her.

 "Oh, before I forget." Minerva says softly, grabbing her attention. The redhead reaches down and fucking hands over her baseball cap. The D was sewn on, some of the minor tears on it were sewed up too.

Um, shit?

Her eyes widen as she looks at the ancient thing, before reaching over the table and taking it from Minerva's grip.

The redhead gives her a half-smile. "Well, Violet actually found it, you know. Then I thought to patch it up for you. I tried my best, but Sophie was best at sewing and stuff. Came along with the artsy package."

Clem's eyes flick over to Violet who was solely interested in her soup, but the blonde looks up to meet her eyes.

"T—Thank you," Clementine chokes out, clutching the hat and keeping it close to her chest. AJ pouts at first, realizing that he wasn't the one who found it but he smiles at Clem's display of thanks.

"No problem." Minerva smiles. She doesn't wear the hat for the night, instead laying it on the table. Clem stares at it while eating. It's been through so much but it's still with her. She honestly doesn’t know what to do without it.

She decides that Minerva is pretty okay, despite their rocky start.


	6. i... want you

The look on Clementine's face was priceless when Minnie handed her the cap. Violet was fucking beaming at how bright her lovely golden eyes were. She found it about two days ago and when she and Minerva had the talk a few hours ago, she asked the redhead to sew it up for her because Violet was pretty sure she'd fuck the hat up if she was the one who did it.

God, Clementine took her fucking breath away. But it slightly disappointed her to see that the amber-eyed girl was barely looking at her. Only saying passing comments to Louis and to Minerva when she gave her the hat. But when their eyes met, Violet knew Clem was begging to talk to her. She felt that her thanks was meant for her.

When dinner ended, AJ asked Clem if he could stay with Tenn for the night. Perhaps the boy felt a little better about leaving his guardian for the night. But the question still came as a surprise to the teenagers.

"Of course, you can, AJ." Clementine leans down, cupping the boy's face with a hand.

"You'll be okay?" He asks suspiciously. Violet wondered what was going through his mindset at that time.

"Promise." Clem affirmed, "But let's walk back to the dorms, alright?"

AJ nods. Violet watches as Clementine, with AJ, walks back to the dorms.

"God, Vi. You are so whipped." Minerva comments as soon as she's out of sight. Violet looks back at the two teens who were watching her.

"You literally watched her until she was out of sight, I mean—" Louis sighs dreamily, "How romantic is that?"

"It's. Not." Violet says through gritted teeth, shoving a spoon in her mouth.

All she can remember is the way that Clem's husky voice said _romantic_ all those days ago.

That night, she hesitantly stops in front of Clem's door, knowing that AJ was already at Tenn's. God, fucking come on, Violet. Suck it up and talk to your crush. Lest she wanted Louis to see her waiting outside Clementine's door like a fool.

She inhales and knocks gently on the door. She hears an ever-so-silent "Come in." and she turns the knob, poking her head inside the room.

Clementine was sitting on her bed, staring at the hat her father had given her so many years ago. She looks up to see Violet.

"Vi." She says uncertainly, "Hey." Clem lays her hat gently on the table. Violet loved the curly brown locks that framed her face.

"Hi." Violet smiles in relief at the not-entirely negative reaction. Clementine smiles back, a genuine smile that she rarely got from the brunette. Clem pats the space beside her and Violet closes the door, walking over to the bed and sitting beside the girl.

"Thanks for finding my hat." Clem says quietly, motioning slightly the cap on the desk.

"No problem." Violet whispers. She may or may not have been purposefully looking for it every time she was outside the school. There was so little space between them. A space she ached to get rid of, but she hasn't been entirely close to Clementine since she woke up. She wasn't even sure if the brunette still wanted her.

 "Vi." Clementine sighs out her name, "I—This is all so confusing, I mean. I won't blame you if you..." She pauses, "Pick Minnie."

Violet lets out a strangled "What?" A knife jabbing at her heart as she sees Clem's forlorn expression.

God, is—Is this what Clementine's been thinking all this time?

"Clem—I... God. I'd never!" You're too important to me. I care too much about you! She wants to say but she can't. She doesn't have the guts.

The brunette seems surprised at the blonde's words. Shit. Has she been this distant?

"But—"

"Clementine." Violet begins, "I—You’ve got this all wrong. Minnie, we’ve gotten over each other.” She says, remembering their talk earlier. “She actually likes you, well—you know—in a friend way.”

Clem looks at her, eyebrows raised, almost reaching her hairline. Her expression looks so adorable but so worrying at the same time.

“I thought that…” She trails off, looking down at her hands. Her fingers twitched. Violet pushes away her fear and tells it to fuck off, she grabs Clementine’s calloused but soft hands. She knows it’s cheesy but she’s fucking delighted that her fingers fit in between Clem’s so _perfectly._

“Are you okay?” Violet asks softly, hoping to hear the brunette’s voice again.

“I’m just… Relieved.” Clementine lets out a strangled laugh, the grip on her hand tightening.

Violet bites the inside of her cheek, smiling. They sit there, staring into each other’s eyes. Violet was completely entranced with Clem’s honey-colored eyes, shining with a soft affection. God, she hoped she didn’t look like an idiot.

And suddenly, Clementine leans in, completely pushing away the space that was between them. She feels soft, slightly-chapped lips on hers. Violet forgets how to breath as she returns the kiss.

Fuck, her heart was beating so fast.

She almost wants to scream when Clementine leans away, smiling at her, her eyes glinting like gemstones. Fuck, fuck, she’s so beautiful. All she could hear was her heart drumming in her chest, she was almost certain that Clem could hear it too. It’s the same kind of heart racing she felt when Clementine kissed her on that night, and it made her so weak.

“I want you so fucking bad.” Violet finds herself muttering. A blush rises up to Clem’s cheeks, looking away.

“What ever happened to ‘holy shit’?” The brunette giggles shyly.

“Decided that it wasn’t so romantic.” Violet leans in and kisses the younger girl on the neck, just below her jaw. Clementine tilts her head up, hand gripping her blanket.

“Vi…” Clem says breathlessly, as the blonde presses more kisses to her neck. Adrenaline rushes through Violet as she acts so recklessly. God, she’s so fucked.

“Door’s unlocked, you know…” Clementine manages to comment as she shifts in her position on the bed.

“Fuck.”

“Yeah…”

Violet leans away, absolutely red in the face. “S—sorry, Clem. I, uh…” She laughs nervously, “I don’t know what got into me.” Yeah, no. That was… Super embarrassing.

“Stay, please.” Clem begs, hand squeezing hers. She looked so fragile, so easy to break if she made the wrong move.

“I will.” Violet mutters, remembering the nights she had stayed here when the brunette was still unconscious. Those sleepless nights where sometimes AJ even joined her in her makeshift bed. The little boy would curl up next to Violet, his afro would tickle her nose. His warmth was a comforting presence.

Violet wonders if it feels like that if she curls up next to Clem. What would it feel like to feel the brunette’s breath on her skin, on her cheeks? The blonde blinks, being well aware that she was here, right now. Would Clementine invite her to sleep on the same bed as her?

She feels so dizzy.

“Lock the door?” Clementine requests quietly. Violet obliges, then the brunette makes herself comfy on the bed.

Clem looks at her with observant eyes, she reminded Violet of an owl. It was hard not to feel watched but she pushes the feeling away. Then slowly, Clem goes to arrange her pillows and blanket into a suitable sleeping space. The brunette slowly lays down, sighing softly. Violet doesn’t know what to do with herself, should she sit next to the other girl? Should she _lay down_ next to her?

“Please?’ Clementine asks softly, subtly patting the space beside her.

Violet is struck with the realization that she’s actually doing this. That she’s sleeping here. On the same bed with Clementine. It’s not hard to say that her fantasy had become true.

“Mind blowing out the candle?” Clem asks, shifting under the covers. Violet smiles, blowing out the tiny flame and joining the brunette under the blanket.

There’s a few awkward moments where even Clem doesn’t know what to do, so they lay there for a while. Violet stares at the ceiling through the top bunkbed bars, she feels like she’s going to have a heart attack.

Blankets shift beside her, then a husky voice breaks the silence. “Mind if I…?”

“N—no..” The blonde replies, hoping she won’t break out into a gay panic.

Almost immediately, Clementine wraps an arm around Violet’s waist, leg hooked in hers. She’s been this intimate with Minnie, sure. But with Clem? God, it’s just a whole different experience. Clem rests her head against her chest. She sighs in content, enjoying the warm body beside hers. It’s been a long time since she’s felt this comfort.

A few minutes pass and Violet can tell that Clementine’s still awake.

“You should be sleeping.”

Clementine shifts under the covers, grunting in pain which makes Violet twitch a little.

“I’ve been thinking.”

“About what?” Violet asks, curious.

“About that night.”

Silence falls across the room. The moon is bright tonight, evident from the streaks of silver light that leak through the boarded windows.

That night—Violet remembers it like it was yesterday but her memory feels so fuzzy when she thinks about it. The calm before the shit storm, it was the most peaceful Violet had felt since this whole Outbreak started. All that was because of Clementine.

Heartbeats pass.

“I love you, Violet.” Clem mutters. Despite the brunette’s quiet tone, Violet felt her emotions ready to go off like a loaded gun. Those three words. Did Clem really feel that way? Even if they’d only known each other for a few weeks? Maybe even a month?

Violet’s insecurities resurface in her thoughts. Maybe—maybe she didn’t mean it.

But God, what if she did? The thought of Clem loving her made her feel so fucked up inside, but in a good way. It gave her all the nice feelings of warmth and butterflies that she couldn’t describe.

“Vi?” Clementine breaks the silence, tone afraid. Afraid that Violet would reject her. But fuck, she would never.

“I…” She swallows, “I love you too, Clem.” Then she turns over to the girl with round amber-eyes that shone in the pale light.

“I care—so much about you.” Violet stammers, “And, God, I’m just so glad that you’re safe and right here.”

Clementine smiles, burying her face in the Violet’s shoulder.

“I’m glad too.”

 

“Night, Vi.”

“Goodnight, Clem.” She murmurs

 

 

Violet finds out that Clem is the kind of person that hogs the blankets and really moves around during her sleep. She finds out because she’s still unable to sleep from the fact that she was in bed with Clementine, lying next to her.

She hears her sputter out a few names too, most notably Lee’s. Violet was familiar. Clem’s talked so much about him that it was impossible not to be. But she still wonders _who_ he really is as a person. Because he’s done such a good job at raising Clem, meanwhile Violet’s parents were barely there. Lee wasn’t even her biological or _adoptive_ father.

And she also witnesses Clementine’s night terrors. When she starts to whimper and shake, leading Violet to having to shush her and run a hand through the brunette’s curly hair. Eventually she calmed down. God, just how much has this scarred girl been through? No doubt, everyone knew that she experienced some insane fucking shit outside but no one knew the full of it.

It’s kinda creepy that she finds herself staring sometimes; at the scars, her features, her lips. But mostly the scars. Clementine has more of them than Violet can count and it angered her to know that she’s been through so much pain. Physically, emotionally and mentally.

After a few moments of silence, she hears Lilly’s name exit Clem’s lips. Violet listens carefully.

“God—Lilly. No, no, no!” The brunette’s grip on her tightens as her entire body tenses. “Sorry… sorry…”

“Clem…” Violet whispers, knowing this would be bad. “Clementine.”

Clementine whimpers, curling in on herself as her eyes flutter open, tears streaming down her cheeks. It broke Violet’s heart to see the girl she loved like this.

“I killed her!” Clem says hysterically, “Shot her three times. I’m—I’m so fucked up.”

“No, you aren’t.” Violet murmurs, sitting up and carding a hand through the other’s hair.

“I’m a fucking murderer.”

“She’s an evil woman, Clem.”

The brunette shakes her head, tears still streaming. Violet helps her up as she lets out a shaky breath.

“Breathe, Clem.”

“She wasn’t going to do anything.”

“She would’ve killed you at the first chance she got.” Violet whispers, pulling the mess of a girl into her embrace.

“I could have let her live, Vi. I’m—I’m a murderer.” Clementine’s hands grip her arms.

“No, you’re wrong, Clem. You were defending yourself and us.” She remembers how Lilly was at gunpoint, afraid.

“I’m just like Carver.” That didn’t sound good.

“Carver?” Violet asks, afraid to know the answer but Clementine stays silent.

It pained Violet to witness this tough, headstrong girl at her weakest. But whatever happened, she wasn’t going to fucking let go because Clem needed her. She needed all the help she could get because even with her outside wounds healing, the inside wounds clearly weren’t.

"Vi." Clementine's voice was timid, she's never heard her like this before. She seemed so small and helpless, and Violet felt so protective.

"Yes?" Was her questioning reply.

"I..." She trails off, leaving the blonde curious.

"What is it?" Violet gently coaxes her.

"I want you." Clem replied quietly, the room was devoid of any noise, she could only hear the chirping of crickets outside. In the vacuum-like silence, Clementine sounded loud, her voice echoing in the blonde’s ears.

Violet looks down at the younger girl, surprised, "Clem, I don't think—"

"Please." Violet immediately quiets down.

"Your wounds."

"I'm fine."

" _Will_ you be fine?" Violet scowls and she feels Clementine tense. Slowly, the brunette shifts away from her, avoiding her gaze. Violet felt angry, did Clem feel obliged to do this? Did she feel forced just because of Violet's own stupid actions earlier?

"Clem..."

"It's okay. I'll be okay."

Clementine exhales and speaks with a sure tone.

"I want this. I want you."

It makes her feel weak to know that Clem wants her. No one has for a long time, not genuinely at least. Years and years upon being betrayed, trust issues. She’s never felt this way, no one’s ever made her feel this way and it hurts.

"I love you." Clementine mutters quietly as Violet cups her face, making the brunette meet her gaze. Heat pools in her stomach as she sees only raw emotion in her amber eyes.

"God, I—I love you too." The three words feel so unfamiliar for her but it feels so right saying it to Clementine.

Clem kisses her, chapped lips on chapped lips. Violet pushes her down onto the bed gently, not wanting to hurt the fragile girl. She would never be able to forgive herself.

Violet feels dizzy as the three words repeat in her mind. Words that she’d never even said to Minerva before.

 She remembers kissing sun-kissed skin. The muffled moans that sent shivers through her. The sensation of her body against Clementine's. The rough cloth of bandages under her gentle touch. The dark curly hair in her grasp.

Shit.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> nothing to say


	7. slowly but surely

Clementine wakes up beside a cold, empty space.

It shouldn’t be all that surprising, though considering the murky events last night… The brunette expected at least a good morning, or afternoon. She’s been sleeping in so much lately.

Violet had been here. With her. Then Clementine told her she loved her. Nothing could really properly describe how euphoric she felt when she heard the three words slip out of Violet’s lips. It didn’t feel real, but at the same time it did. And it’s the first time in a while she’s felt so relieved and delighted.

She looks up, seeing the sunlight leaking through the boarded-up window. She still feels tired.

A tiny part of her wishes that Violet had stayed; so Clem would see her when she woke up. It would have been a comforting sight and an instant way to brighten her morning; pushing away the constant pain that she felt when she woke up every morning. As if she’d come back from a fight, and honestly, she might as well have.

Sometimes the wound in her side feels like it would tear open again. It’s not like she doesn’t trust Ruby’s sewing skills but shit, does it hurt. The bullet and the stab wound weren’t as worse, but it still pinched to move the wrong way.

She’d need to change bandages soon, but Clementine doesn’t want to waste the whole supply on herself. Scavenging was something she’d have to do again, lest they wanted to be caught unprepared.

Laying around didn’t make her feel good, to be honest. She felt useless, despite her wounds that could easily reopen with the wrong move. She knew she should rest but being lookout wasn’t enough for Clementine, staying in the outside for so long made her unable to keep still.

Jittery.

Sitting up, she sees her hat on the table. Stitches kept the D firmly attached, the big gaping tear was still on the front but she couldn’t blame Minnie. The redhead probably tried her best. She ponders when she places the cap on her head.

_Minerva._

She was unsure about her feelings on the redhead. Clementine held a knife to her neck then Minnie kept her at crossbow-point and stabbed her. It was definitely complicated. Maybe, fixing her hat was a peace offering of sorts. Though one can’t be too sure, she learned that from past betrayals or more recently, Marlon.

Outside, she hears excited footsteps echo in the hallway and the door bursts open. It’s Rosie and AJ. The pitbull eagerly traipses over to her, sitting down in front of Clementine. AJ acts almost the same way, except he jumps onto the bed.

“We came to get you for breakfast.” He explains, “I’m surprised you’re up this early.” She smiles at her boy.

“What do you mean _early_?” Clementine raises an eyebrow.

“Well, when I go to wake you up, you’re always still asleep.” AJ frowns, “But here you are!”

Rosie whimpers, laying her head on the girl’s lap. At least Rosie was a bit easier to deal with than Minnie. She slowly pets the dog, well aware of the scar on her arm, given to her by the same animal.

“Oh yeah, I played ‘fetch’ with Rosie today.” AJ pipes up, his pronunciation of the newly-learned word was slow, “Louis taught me. It’s pretty fun, and Rosie always brings the stick back!”

“That’s nice.” She replies, looking at the energetic boy. She’s glad that he’s at least met a friendly dog like Rosie. It had made her heart ache before when she realized that he may not be able to see a single animal in his lifetime except birds and fish. She remembers the old world, where you could go to a zoo at a moment’s notice and it would easily be a kid’s favorite place.

“How about that breakfast?”

“Right, yeah!”

Clementine slowly stands up, whistling to Rosie. AJ watches her walk on slightly shaking legs, moving across the room to the door.

“You have got to teach me how to whistle.”

“Louis told you about that too?”

“Yup!”

“It’s a long process, are you sure you’re ready for it?” She teases, closing the door behind them.

“Of course, I am!” AJ puffs up his chest.

AJ’s exuberant attitude is a welcome addition to her day. She feels that Louis’ personality is slowly bleeding into AJ’s from all the time they spend together. Clementine doesn’t mind it, pushing away the disappointment she had felt when she woke up alone.

She needed to talk to Violet soon.

When they reached the grounds, Ruby instantly appeared by her side. “How are you feeling, Clem?”

“Just fine.” She replies, smiling at the almost-mother hen of the school. It made her miss Javi a bit, she’d have to return to New Richmond soon. To check up on the man and to see if things have spiraled out of control yet. But she thinks that won’t be until a few more weeks pass and Ruby finally lets her leave the school grounds.

“I’ll have to change your bandages again soon,” Ruby frowns, giving her a disapproving look, “You haven’t been moving a lot in them, are you?”

“No?..” Clementine meekly replies as she remembers last night, her face heating up. Her stitches didn’t give out anyway so there couldn’t have been anything wrong.

“Right.” The redhead gives her a dubious look, handing over a bowl of… Is this oatmeal? “Well, still. Don’t move around too much, you might mess up something in there.”

“Noted.” She nods, taking the bowl and is tugged by AJ over to Louis, Violet and Minnie’s table.

Louis greets her with a winning smile which Clementine mirrors. Minnie nods at her and stuffs a spoon in her face. Violet’s staring at her the whole time, her expression unreadable, until she smiles at the brunette. It sends a tingle of pleasure through her to see the blonde in high spirits.

“You know, _you_ guys can talk.” Louis says, patting Clem’s back, “We’re super tired of seeing you lovebirds dance around each other.” Violet shoots him a vehement glare.

“I’d rather you don’t ruin the damn morning, Lou.”

“Hey, it’s too early.” Clementine cuts in with a warning tone.

“She’s right. I didn’t wake up to hear you guys bickering.” Minnie agrees, “Besides, the oatmeal is _so_ good.”

“I know it is!” Omar’s voice sounds from somewhere. Clementine chuckles and keeps eating.

While Violet and Louis are holding an intense conversation with only their eyes, Tenn and AJ join the table. The brunette shifts over to let AJ sit beside her with a stick.

“Clem, look!” He says and looks down at Rosie who’s been lying on the ground beside their table, “Rosie, fetch!”

AJ throws the stick and ends up hitting Aasim on the back of his head.

“Ow! AJ!” Cried the older teen.

“Sorry!”

 _Woof!_ Rosie barks, bounding over to Aasim who lets out a string of panicked shouts. The pitbull pushes Aasim over, trying to find the stick.

They all laugh at the sight of the poor guy, more so at Rosie’s innocent face, with a slobber-covered stick in her mouth.

“Ah, that’s good stuff.” Louis says, “So, what do you say, Clem? Are you up to go exploring again?”

She perks up, “I’d love to but—” Clementine looks to Ruby who was chatting with Omar. “Guess I’m technically on house-arrest.”

“I’m sure Ruby will let you out for a little walker-killin’!” Louis says, softly nudging her shoulder.

“Not sure if that’s the safest idea.” Violet grumbles, flashing a look at Minnie who shrugs.

“She’s not going out, not without me.” AJ pouts, “Clem’s still hurting, you know.”

“I’ll just stay in the walls for the moment,” Clementine smiles at the boy.

“Gosh, what would we do without you watching our backs, Clem?” Louis sighs dramatically, “I would love to see you in action again.” He says teasingly.

She doesn’t know why, but Clementine looks to Violet who’s glaring at the boy with dreadlocks once again.

Breakfast passes by like that, the occasional comment from Louis who receives a glare from Violet who receives either a smile or a shrug from Minnie. It was nice to see everyone settling in again, without the looming threat of the Delta lurking around.

It gave her reassurance.

Clementine catches Violet’s gaze again, and God, it made her feel so warm inside. Then the blonde looks away to bicker once again with Louis.

Though she knew in her gut that it wouldn’t last, she hoped it would. She hoped it would so AJ can finally have a home, a bed to call his own for his later years. A place where he can feel safe and loved like she did before the Outbreak began. She wanted a childhood for him that wasn’t so filled with violence and discord.

She hoped it would last because these people are worth fighting and living for.

And at the moment, Clementine felt _happy_ to be alive.


	8. healing

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi so, last chapter!

It feels good to be back outside again. It's a sensation that Clementine's forgotten for at least a few weeks. The open space, infinite in every direction she could go, unlike the cement walls that surrounded the school grounds. Now she's bounced back from her near-critical condition, leaving her with a few more scars on her body. She can't say that it doesn't make her self-conscious around Violet, or anyone really.  
  
"How does it feel to walk in the great outdoors again, Clem?" Louis grins, "Violet and I really had to pester Ruby that you'd be alright."

AJ on the other hand sided with Ruby, the boy beside her had become fiercely protective and concerned. It amused Clementine, she’s never had anyone younger than her who was so concerned for her welfare. She almost feels _old_.  
  
"It feels great, aside from the constant threat of walkers."  
  
"Doesn't it feel just like home?"  
  
Clementine shoots him a smile and a raised eyebrow. Leave it to Louis to make her remember her lengthy trips across the states. It doesn't exactly give her good memories. The only thing she got from her life on the road were hard lessons that she could never have learned anywhere else.

She guesses that they wouldn’t understand that. They’ve been sheltered in the school, afraid to go out of a so-called safe zone. It felt so childish and naïve to Clem but she realizes that it’s the same with all the other factions she ran into in the past years.

Only when AJ came along was when she felt the urgent need to find shelter. The boy was her motivation to find a safe place to call home and as far she knows, she’s found it.

Clementine subconsciously glances at AJ, making sure that he’s safe, then she looks back to Louis.  
  
"And what is that supposed to mean?"  
  
Louis lackadaisically swings Chairles around, "Well, you've been on the road for so long.."  
  
"You do know that I consider the school my home?"  
  
"Oh my God, you do?" Louis gasps, sniffling, "That's... That's so sweet it brings tears to my eyes."  
  
Clementine shakes her head, smiling. Louis had volunteered to take her out to see how the traps are faring. It would have been nice to have Violet come along but the girl had chosen to stay behind and watch over the school for the time being.

“I’ll make sure the area’s safe!” AJ turns to the brunette, tone serious. He has his gun glued to his hand, ready to make sure that nothing would ambush them.

“I’d appreciate that.” Clem smiles, “Be careful, alright?”

“I always am!” She finds it hard to tear her eyes away from the boy who looks around cautiously, crouching.  
  
"So, a little birdy told me..." Louis looks up and down a trap, his voice soft so AJ wouldn’t overhear, "About you and Violet. Spill, girl." Of course, the inevitable question. It wouldn't be a conversation with Louis without a word about Violet.  
  
"What about me and Violet?" Clementine asks, knowing if the aforementioned blonde was here, she'd groan and bitch Louis out.  
  
"Are you guys, you know?" His face lights up as he speaks, "An official thing?" The brunette bites her lip, pondering on this.  
  
They don't really have a label for each other, in Clementine's mind, she only referred to Violet as... Well, Violet. Clem isn't so sure about labels, or if Violet is actually ready for it because she's never brought it up. But, she figures that they've gotten pretty far enough to call each other girlfriends?... All the private kisses they shared and the feather-light intimate touches, it had to mean something right?  
  
"Oh my gosh, you don't even know, do you? This is—unacceptable!" Louis shakes his fist, "My favorite couple and you haven't even gotten around to calling each other GF's."  
  
"Favorite couple?" Clem raises an eyebrow.  
  
"Well, you know... Aasim and Ruby are all nice but you and Violet are like—" He spreads his hands, making explosion sounds, "Power couple."  
  
"It's nice to know you support us, I guess." She smiles, fiddling with her hat, not knowing exactly how to respond to such enthusiasm about her love life.  
  
Louis squeals, "Support? I'm like your freaking number one fan!" She only raises an eyebrow at that.  
  
They reach the end of the forest, looking out onto the train station. Walkers still littered the place, but there was nothing to scavenge there anyway.  
  
"I don't think it's safe for you to just go dive in into some walker-infested area, Clem." Louis frowns, keeping his weapon close. Despite keeping a positive attitude, he doesn't hesitate to show his concern and worry.  
  
"Wouldn't be the smartest thing to do." Clementine agrees, "Let's move along."  
  
Clementine isn't quite sure what they're supposed to be doing, actually. She's sure they're scoping out new territory to expand the safe zone, now it just seems like Louis is following her.  
  
"I have an idea."  
  
"An idea?"  
  
"What if, you guys go up to the bell tower and do your thing."  
  
"Do... My thing?" She raises an eyebrow, uncertain as to what he was leading to.  
  
"Like, as we far as I know. You were the one who kissed Vi, so I was thinking," Louis spreads his hands, "That if you brought up the subject first then boom!"  
  
"Then your fantasy will come true?" Clem asks jokingly.  
  
"You two would make the world less depressing. But I guess PDA would look pretty gross. But nonetheless! There's nothing better than Violentine!"  
  
"Violentine?" Clementine raises an eyebrow, then it clicks in her mind. "Oh, I get it... That's sweet, sort of?"  
  
"I look forward to tonight." Louis gives her a grin, pulling her close by the shoulder. She doesn't tell him about the sharp pain that shoots through her, the older teen looks too happy.

Clementine doubts it’ll be as easy as Louis says, nothing ever felt easy for her. Relationships were brand new waters for her to explore and she couldn’t say that she didn’t feel excited about it but she didn’t feel very sure about it either. All she knows that she loves Violet. The butterflies that she gives her every time their gazes meet is something else, she didn’t feel that way with Gabe or anyone else.

“There’s one monster.” AJ runs back to them. She only gets a slight heart attack before realizing there’s not a single scratch on him.

“What do you think we should do?” Clementine asks, wondering if he remembers what she told him so long ago. It was one of the first lessons she’d taught him, and it’s a lesson that she’s learned from several encounters from before.

“Well… If there’s one monster, there’s bound to be more.” He frowns, choosing his words carefully. Clementine can almost _see_ how he processes the situation. “We should go back to the school. It’s getting dark too.”

Louis smiles, nodding in agreement, hauling Chairles over his shoulder.

“Sounds good to me.” She says, her eyes flicking to every corner of the forest.

Clementine doesn’t know how she feels when she’ll see a walker. It reminds her too much of James, the boy who’d died wrongly on the boat because she didn’t let AJ shoot Lilly. But she’s reasoned with herself that it wasn’t selfish. It was James’ wish to not let the boy turn into a killer. Marlon’s death messed him up and Clem—well she was afraid for him. She was afraid of AJ turning into so many of the horrible people she had seen before. She didn’t want that for him.

She hurriedly turns around and heads back to the school alongside AJ and Louis.

 

 

Dinner passes by quickly, Louis has them play a quick round of War and Clementine finds herself discovering a few more things about the group. Why Minnie and Louis were sent to the school. That Violet’s favorite fruits is oranges (that made her swallow awkwardly). How crazy they all were, back before the Outbreak started. It made her smile to hear all about the previous students they treated like family.

In exchange, they also found out a few things about Clementine. The New Frontier. Lee. Her eight years trying to survive, with a group, alone, with AJ. They especially went quiet when she talked about how she tried to find AJ after they’d taken him away from her. She had only explained the McCarroll ranch with little detail, not wanting to make the mood even darker. But the worried expressions on their faces said a lot.

The mission was difficult, but she’d done it, and she didn’t regret it. She found her son and not even hell would take him away from her.

“God, that’s so…” Louis sniffs, “So… Motherly.” She can’t help but crack a smile. Trust in Louis to try to lighten the mood, it always seemed to work for her.

“You’re ruining the moment, Lou.” Minerva scolds him,

“It’s true? She’s like sacrificed everything for AJ and, geez. Wished my parents did that for me.”

“But you literally—” Violet gestures to Louis before being cut off by him.

“But hey, it’s all behind me now.”

Clementine isn’t so sure about that when she sees the way Louis shifts in his seat, how his hand tightens around his spoon as he sets it, how he avoids looking at any of them. But she lets him off for the time being. Violet also seems to notice this but she doesn’t comment on it.

Beside her, the blonde lays her hand down on the bench. It still makes Clem’s stomach somersault when she puts her hand over Violet’s. Out of the corner of her eye, she can see the way her lips curl up as they all sit in silence, basking in the presence of one another.

She still isn’t confident about showing it all off in public, especially when they were right in front of Minnie who, a few days ago, had told her that she accepted it; Clementine and Violet as a couple. A thing. Yet the hidden pain in her tone doesn’t go unnoticed by Clementine. She appreciates Minnie trying to prevent it into becoming a big issue but she would rather the redhead express her feelings truthfully. Clem knows that keeping your feelings locked up can cause some catastrophic issues that can so easily tear friendships apart, especially in the apocalypse.

Sighing, she pushes the thoughts away and finishes up dinner.

 

 

“Are you _sure_ you can scale up this thing?” Violet raises an eyebrow, concern clear in her voice.

Clementine looks up the bell tower. It can’t be that hard, right? She’s done it before, she can do it again.

“I’m sure.”

“Technically, you’re still healing and I don’t want you… You know.”

“I’ll be fine.” The brunette smiles, laying a hand on the blonde’s shoulder.

She wanted to do this. She wanted to go up the bell tower again, feel disconnected from the world for just a second. Clementine wanted to spend time with _just_ Violet.

The ascent was admittedly tough, she’d been out of shape for resting for such a long amount of time. Not to mention the fact that she’d been confined in the school, just laying around, sitting down.

But God when she gets up there, it is a fucking view.

She sits next to Violet, closer than they’d been the last time they were up here. Clementine felt comfortable, her shoulder pressed against someone else’s, their thighs touching.

The night sky was beautiful, the moon shone brightly, as if it were a spotlight focusing on the couple. Stars twinkling and glowing as far as the eye can see. She could see Venus, and a few more planets she can’t quite recall anymore. Somehow, she can still see the constellations that Violet had created just for fun.

“I’m glad to see you’ve been wearing it all this time.” Violet admits shyly, Clementine is confused for a split second before realizing that she’s talking about the button the blonde had given her.

“Well, it’s from you.” Clem smiles, feeling her shoulders sink slowly, rid of all the stress and anxiety she’d been feeling these past few weeks.

A small blush forms on Violet’s pale cheeks, the blonde laces her fingers through Clementine’s hand. She feels so warm.

God, Vi’s so beautiful, and Clementine loves everything about her. Her forest green eyes that always lit up when the brunette was around. The way her blond hair fell down like a waterfall, almost reaching her shoulders. Her down-turned lips that made her look like she was always pouting but when she smiled, it would be the highlight of Clem’s day.

Clementine doesn’t know how she’s gotten so lucky. Lucky enough for everything to turn out okay, for everything to seem so happy.

 

“Clem?” Violet asks out of the blue.

 

“Yeah?” She replies, anxiety suddenly a gnawing creature in her stomach.

 

“This… This whole thing between us,” Violet begins, “Shit, we…” She lets out a nervous laugh, “We don’t even know what to call each other, do we?”

 

Surprised, a part of Clementine wonders if Louis had talked to the blonde too. The fact that it was Violet who brought this up made Clem so proud of her.

 

“Huh, I guess we don’t.”

 

“I was thinking that…” Vi trails off, seemingly unable to continue.

 

“Thinking what?” Clementine asks softly, looking at the blonde with hope. She squeezes Violet’s hand supportively.

 

For a moment, she was worried that the other wouldn’t speak after sinking into a silence. Then she says:

 

“Clem, I—I love you so much. Shit, I think everyone knows it. It’s just that, I don’t want us to just be a ‘thing’.” Violet glances up, her head craned to the mesmerizing splash of shining stars above them. “I—I want us to be… Official.”

  
There it is.

 

She can’t breathe as Violet looks at her with such an expression of awe and love that makes Clementine’s heart threaten to burst out of her chest. Then she realizes that she has to reply.

 

“’Girlfriend’ doesn’t sound so bad.” Clementine smiles, and she can see all the emotions that goes through Violet’s mind. Fear, shock then excitement.

 

And suddenly her lips feel so warm as Violet leans in, surprising the brunette with a kiss.

 

Clem gladly kisses the blonde back, cupping the other’s cheek with her free hand.

 

Their breaths mix.

 

Violet melts against her.

 

Clementine feels so warm.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks for reading and tolerating this mess of mine that i decided to write on a whim! much love <3


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